We all hate the flakey friend. The one who always cancels, changes plans last minute and never, ever shows up. we roll our eyes when we get the inevitable ‘sorry I can’t make it text’ and send out an invite knowing full well the answer to their RSVP….
But have you ever thought about what’s really going on behind closed doors?
I am going to hold up my hands and say it (picture this AA meeting style)- Hi I’m Ellie, and I’ve been a flakey friend.
I don’t mean that I am the kind of friend who disappears when you need them. Of course not. You call me crying and I’ll be there with chocolate, sad movies and a lighter ready to burn whoever’s picture demands it.
But I can be flakey. I sometimes cancel. Occasionally turn down plans and sometimes send that ‘I’m so sorry it’s such late notice BUT’ texts.
So I think it’s finally time to come out and say it- being flakey is okay.
Cancelling plans is okay.
Staying at home because you just can’t face brushing your hair or conversing with real life beings is o-k.
Mental health comes first, above everything else. And if that means that you really can’t make it to your friends celebratory drinks, then so be it. If you have to cancel brunch because you got 2 hours sleep last night and the bags under your eyes are bigger than muggy Mike’s ego, then so be it!
Being on the receiving end of a cancelled plan is disappointing, sure. But wouldn’t you rather spend your time with a well rested, happy version of your friend, rather that guilt trip them into sticking to plans, just for the sake of not flaking out?
It’s about time to start telling yourself that it’s okay to be flaky. It’s okay to take time for yourself. And it’s okay to cancel plans. You do you, boo.
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Imagery by Ami Ford Photo
